Legacy (RiffRaff Records Book 2) Page 5

  “Hey.” I launched myself on her bed, capturing her perfect lips with mine. “I need to talk to you about something your dad just said.” I kissed her again, rolling her body on top of mine, my hands on the tops of her thighs.

  She smiled, straddling my lap. “Me first.”

  I smirked, my uncle’s concerns already starting to leave my brain while I took her hips in my hands, grinding her against me. “I have only like ten minutes, but if you want—”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  I stopped breathing. I sat up, keeping her in my lap and taking her beautiful face in my hands. “What? How?” We were always so careful. I was overly cautious with her. We used condoms, lots of them. And I pulled out, every damn time. Halen was everything to me. I wanted to give her a perfect life, a planned and thought-out life. I shouldn’t have been surprised; none of my other timeline plans had worked out.

  She shook her head. “I don’t know.” She reached into her nightstand and pulled out a cupful of pregnancy tests. “I’ve been feeling really tired and I threw up the other morning. I thought there was no way I was pregnant, that I must have come down with a bug or something. But…” She looked down at all the tests in her hands. “They’re all positive.”

  “Fuck. Hales.” I dropped my head to her chest. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I should have never let this happen. I, fuck, I should have known better. We could have waited, we should have waited. I—”

  “Beau. Stop.” She put the tests down beside us, picking my head up so I’d look into her eyes. “This is an accident, not a tragedy. Okay? Everything is going to be fine. I’ll graduate early, we’ll just move out a year sooner than we thought we would. No big deal.”

  No big deal? “How can you say that? You’re only a junior in high school. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your senior year? College? Not to mention the fact that your dad is going to fucking kill me. And then my dad is going to bring me back to life so that he and the rest of my uncles can take a turn.” She was so calm, so at ease while I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I’d just ruined her life. All her plans? All her dreams? They were nothing now.

  A baby? Our parents weren’t going to forgive us for sneaking around behind their backs. I was almost twenty-one. I had no business being with a seventeen-year-old. Uncle Dash had been right. Halen was missing out on her youth. And I’d just made it that much worse. Me. My fault. I should have never let this happen.

  “I know what you’re thinking right now, Beau. I can pretty much hear your thoughts.” Halen put her hands on her hips. “Your age doesn’t matter.” I opened my mouth to protest but she kept on talking. “We’ve been inseparable since we were kids. I’ve loved you my whole life. My parents have loved you. Are they going to freak out? Sure. But you and me? We can get through anything, right?”

  I couldn’t help but smile at her positive attitude. I’d destroyed her life, our parents were going to blow a gasket, and she was perched on my lap telling me all the reasons we were going to be okay. In the end, I would do anything she wanted me to. I lived for her happiness. I lived for her. I always had. “Is this what you want?” I reached out and put my hand on her stomach. “You’re barely seventeen, Sweets.” And I was too old for her. I should have stuck to my guns. I didn’t need sex to be happy with her. I didn’t need anything except her smiles, her love.

  She put her hand on top of mine and for some reason my heart melted. “I love you with everything I am. It’s always been you, Beau. We wanted this eventually, right? Our own place, our own family.” She shrugged. “It’s just happening a little sooner is all.” We’d lain under the stars long before we’d ever taken things between us to a more physical level, dreaming about the future. About a time when we were older, when we wouldn’t have to hide. A time where we could have our own home; our own family.

  Halen was my whole world.

  “When do you want to tell them?” I could do this. I could be strong for her. I could do anything as long as she was beside me, her hand in mine.

  “I have a doctor’s appointment next week. We’ll tell them after that. It’ll give me time to submit my transcript for early graduation. I’ve been thinking about doing that anyway.”

  Early graduation. Guess that kind of proved her father’s point. And she wouldn’t be doing too much partying now either way. If this was the life she wanted, then this was the life I would give her. I leaned back on her pillows, keeping my hand on her flat belly. I couldn’t seem to stop touching her stomach. “You’ve got it all figured out, huh?”

  She followed me, lying with her head on my chest, tapping the rhythm of my heartbeat with her fingertips. “I had to.” She laughed. The sound made me grin despite my fears. “I know you, Beau. I knew you’d freak out. That you’d tell me you should have known better—”

  “I should have known better.” I’d told her no a million times. Told her we needed to wait, we needed to be off the compound and on our own. But she’d pushed and pushed. And eventually, I couldn’t say no anymore. I was so tired of denying myself the one thing I craved above all else—Halen.

  “I’m pretty sure this kid is equal parts me and you.” She looked up at me, so much love and trust in her pretty green eyes. “We’re all going to be okay, Beau.”

  I kissed her lips. I was still terrified, still ridden with guilt. But I’d do anything Halen wanted me to. We had plenty of money; we could get a house in town. I’d finish college, and then stay home with the kid so she could go to college. If she wanted to have this baby, I’d be the best damn father I could possibly be. Loving my girl was easy. I was sure loving our baby would be even easier.

  I sat up and rolled her body underneath mine. She wrapped her toned, tanned legs around my hips and pulled my hardening cock where she wanted me. Where she always wanted me. She giggled. “Now, about that ten minutes…”

  I sighed, doing a push up and kissing her smiling lips. “What am I going to do with you, Sweets?”

  She pulled her plump bottom lip through her straight white teeth. “Whatever you want.”

  I hopped up and she started to protest until I threw the lock on her bedroom door. “Where is your mom?”

  She smirked. “Her studio, waiting on you.”

  I grabbed her shorts and pulled them off, unbuckling my belt as I placed a knee on her mattress. “You better come for me quick then, Sweets.” I didn’t get undressed, and besides her shorts, neither did she.

  I knew Halen, I knew her every curve. I could make her scream my name as quickly or as drawn out as I wanted to. She was all mine, and I was all hers. I hadn’t been a virgin the first time I was with Halen, and fuck, I wished I had been. I’d give anything to go back in time and be able to give her the same gift she’d given me.

  I entered her in one smooth motion, without a condom. She was already pregnant, what did it matter at this point? My eyes rolled back in my head as she cried out and dug her nails into my back. I’d never felt anything like it. Being inside her bare was the best thing I’d ever felt.

  “Beau.” She moaned, loud and long. “It feels so…”

  “I know, Sweets.” I reached between us, finding her clit with my thumb. I wouldn’t last much longer. The feeling was too intense, the emotion too strong. Halen was my girl, my world. And we were going to have a baby. “Fuck. Hales.”

  She looked up at me, her eyes pleading. She was close and she needed me to help her. I covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her cries. Swallowing my name tearing out of her throat. My arms shook as I followed her over the cliff, coming inside her tight, perfect body.

  “Fuck, I love you, Sweets.”

  “I love you too, Beau. Always.”

  ***

  I pulled my bike over on the side of the small road leading to my family’s compound, the same road where I’d kissed Halen that first time, all those years ago. That was the moment I’d ruined her life. There were miles separating me from my home, mere miles. I’d be there in a matter of
minutes. I sat down in the dirt, the fallen oak tree now long gone, my head in my hands. I’d give myself three minutes. Three minutes to hurt and to let the tears fall.

  But that was it, and it was more than I deserved.

  Chapter Five

  Halen

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  I glanced up in my bathroom mirror, giving Cash a sad smile. “No.” I shrugged. “But I’m getting all itchy from the wet grass I had my meltdown in this morning.”

  “I can stay.” He sat down on the toilet, angling his back away from the shower I’d just turned on. “I’ll face the wall and talk to you about boring stuff.”

  The room was slowly filling with steam. “Cash, that’s very sweet.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “But very unnecessary.” I shoved him out the door, shutting it and then leaning against it, breathing deeply. He hadn’t left me alone all morning. After we’d had breakfast with his parents, he and Crue had followed me home, where they’d eaten a second breakfast with my family. Then Cash had insisted that we needed to catch up on our Netflix shows, so he’d been posted up in my bed for the last four hours.

  “I’ll be right out here if you need anything.”

  “Okay, thank you.” I doubted I’d need anything in the freaking shower. I was sore and achy from my panic attack and crying fit earlier. I felt drained, emotionally and physically. The next week was going to be torture, but I had no other choice than to endure it. It was bad enough that our cousins had been brought into Beau and my mess. I wouldn’t bring our parents in. Not now. Not ever. There were some things that were better left unsaid.

  I tossed Avory’s borrowed clothes into my hamper and stepped under the hot water, instantly relaxing. I felt some of the tension leave my muscles and I sagged in relief. Fudge. Today had sucked. And it was only a little after twelve. I washed my hair, and then my body, watching as little blades of grass went down the drain as I rinsed all the soap away.

  I should have known better. I should have showered in Avory’s bathroom, or back in Crue’s room.

  Today was too raw. He was too close.

  ***

  I started to cry as the blood circled the drain. I was eleven weeks pregnant, and I was having a miscarriage. I knew it with every fiber of my being. This immense feeling of loss and sadness came over me. But I didn’t look away. I didn’t think it was fair. Someone had to be here, someone had to witness this. It was happening and my heart was breaking.

  We hadn’t told our parents yet. I’d chickened out and begged Beau to wait until after my second appointment. An appointment I wouldn’t need now. I sat down on the tiled shower floor, letting the hot water wash everything away. I couldn’t tell you how long I stayed in there. The water was cold by the time I got out. I wrapped a towel around my body and climbed shakily into bed. I grabbed my phone and sent Beau a text, Come over. Something happened. I should have called him, but I couldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t be able to say the words out loud.

  It was dark outside when I heard my window open. I didn’t roll over. I didn’t look at him. I just started to sob all over again. I let the tears fall as he climbed on the bed next to me.

  “Sweets, what’s wrong?”

  “The baby. I, uh, I lost the baby.” I curled in on myself as the cramps that were wracking my body turned brutal.

  “Hales. I—fuck, I don’t even know what to say right now.” I felt his tears against my skin before I heard them. “I’m so sorry.” I knew he was trying to keep it together. We laid like that, close, crying, mourning the loss of the child we’d never get a chance to meet. At some point I must have fallen asleep.

  I woke up to Beau freaking out.

  “Landry, fuck, I don’t know what to do. There is so much blood.” I opened my eyes, searching my room. Beau was at the foot of my bed, his shirt now gone. “Eleven weeks.” He headed into the bathroom, his phone to his ear. “She was in the shower when it started, I think. I don’t know, we both fell asleep, but when I woke up…” He came back out, a stack of towels in his hands, and some new sheets. “Okay, yeah.” I sat up, clutching my stomach. The cramps were more like a dull ache now. “I’m freaking out here. Uncle Dash could be home any second.” Beau shook his head. “No, we didn’t tell anyone. I don’t want to pull them into this, especially now.” His comment hurt. Especially now that there was nothing to pull them into was what he meant. And the thought took my breath away. “Fuck. Fine. But just the twins. No one else, Landry, I mean it.” He hung up and lifted me out of bed. “You need to get in the bath, Sweets, okay?”

  I did what I was told mainly because I didn’t know what else to do. I was exhausted and I was cold. I sat in the warm water, my knees to my chest. I could hear Beau moving around in my bedroom, the sound of a trash bag opening. My brain wasn’t working right. It was like I was drugged, or just too tired to function. He came back in a few minutes later and climbed in with me. He washed me, and then himself. All his movements were so loving, so gentle.

  He dried me off and helped me get dressed in some comfy, baggy clothes. “Sweets, I’ve got to get us out of here, okay? I don’t want your parents to find us like this.”

  I swallowed, my throat raw and hoarse. “I’ll just tell them I’m sick. I’ll be okay.” Tears filled my eyes once again. “You can just hang in the living room, I’ll text you if—”

  “No. Not a chance in hell, Halen. I’m staying right next to you.” He picked me up easily then hurried out my door and down the hall. I took a deep breath when we left my house; the cool night air felt good in my lungs. Beau carried me across the field and into our old tree house. The place we’d played when we were young, the place we’d first made love.

  “I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for. It’s not like it was my fault. It wasn’t anyone’s.

  “Shhh, Sweets. There is nothing for you to be sorry for.” He laid me down on the pallet we still kept in there for the times we couldn’t seem to sneak off the compound. He bowed his body against mine. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll fix it all, no worries.”

  I was about to ask what he meant, but the small door opened and Cash stuck his head inside. “Hey.”

  He looked at me with so much pain in his eyes. I couldn’t handle it. I shut my lids and buried my face against Beau’s chest.

  “Hey, look, I’m sorry to get you guys in the middle of this.” Beau was whispering, rubbing his hand over my hair. “But I don’t want to leave her. Can you just tell Uncle Dash and Aunt Lexi that you saw Hales leave with that blonde chick that’s always hanging around?”

  “Skylar?”

  “Yeah. That one. I already texted from her phone telling them she was staying the night there.” When had he figured all this out? How long was I sleeping? “I told my parents I wouldn’t be home ’til late. If they ask, just tell them you saw me head out on my bike, okay?”

  “Yeah, man, sure. Whatever y’all need.” There was a brief pause. “Crue and Avory suggested we all go out to dinner, we’ll make sure to talk them into a movie or something. No worries.” I hated that we’d brought our younger cousins into this. I never wanted them to have to lie for us about this. We were always careful, so damn careful. Cash must have left, because I didn’t hear his voice again. The only sounds in the room were me crying and Beau whispering over and over how much he loved me, and how sorry he was. I wanted to say the same things to him, but I couldn’t stop sobbing long enough to do it.

  ***

  “Hales. Fuck.” I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of Cash’s voice. I started to shake, the hot water doing nothing to get rid of the sudden chill in my bones. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone.” He opened the shower door, letting all the warmth out and wrapping me in a towel.

  I knew I was crying, my tears mixing with the water from my shower. “I’m okay, Cash.”

  “Like fuck you are.” He sat me down on the toilet and closed my bathroom door, locking it. “You were crying so loud I could hea
r you in the next room, Hales. You are not okay. Nothing about this is okay. I was there that night, I saw you. I saw him. I saw how fucking wrecked you both were. And then when he—”

  “Stop. Please.” I pulled my towel tighter around me. “I’m okay.” Cash had been right, the I’m okay mantra was going strong. He gave me an irritated look and I threw my hands in the air. “What am I supposed to do, Cash? Huh?”

  “Let’s get out of town. We’ve never needed our parents’ permission, they can’t stop us. And why the hell should we put in face time at Jared’s memorial? He was nothing to us.” He kneeled down in front of me. “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, Hales.”

  I gave him a small smile. “Beau’s our family. He’s your family. I can’t avoid him forever and I certainly can’t expect you to either.” I took a deep breath. “I will make it through this. Just like I made it through two years ago.” I squared my shoulders. “I usually don’t let the memories take hold like that. I keep all that stuff locked up real tight in a corner of my mind that I never touch. I guess, with him being so close—”

  “I am your shadow.”

  I snorted. “What?”

  “For the next week, for as long as he is here, I don’t want you alone. You’re either with me or Crue. Landry too, when she gets home.” Cash stood up and put his hands on his hips. “I mean it, Hales. You aren’t to be alone with him or with your thoughts. If I see one more breakdown, I’m throwing you in my truck and we’re leaving. Do you hear me?”

  I wanted to laugh at his demands and overprotectiveness. It was comical that my younger cousin was standing in my bathroom, explaining how he was going to protect me from Beau, and from myself.

  Fudge. I never thought I’d be here. When Beau and I fell in love…never in a million years did I think our relationship would end, or that I wouldn’t be able to handle being in the same room as him. He was my world, my best friend—my heart. And no one had ever, or would ever, be able to hurt me as bad as he did.