Loyalty (RiffRaff Records Book 4) Read online

  Avory unbuckled her seat belt when she saw headlights headed our way. “You kids have fun.” She leaned forward, her hands on our seats, kissing Cash’s cheek and then mine. “See y’all tomorrow.” Then she hoped out of the truck. Crue opened his door and she jumped inside, crawling over his lap to her seat.

  “Your life is way more interesting than mine.” I rested my elbow on the center console and then my chin in my hand.

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.” Cash had a smile on his face I could see it from the light of the dashboard. He took a right, turning down a dark dirt road. He drove a few more feet and then pulled to the side, throwing the truck in park and turning off the lights. “I’m sorry things got weird at the party.”

  “Is that normal?” I moved my arm when he pushed a button, lifting the console back and out of the way.

  He unbuckled and scooted closer to me, putting his hands on my thighs. “It’s not abnormal, I guess.” He shrugged. “Not that this is at all what I want to talk about right now, but in the past, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal.” He looked down. “Crue would have agreed to take her out, said he’d call her. Then I would have been the one going in his place.”

  “But she seemed awful.”

  He chuckled quietly. “I told you, the girls that want to hook up with my brother…they don’t even know him. They don’t care about him. They want the picture for their social media or they want the connection to my family.”

  “All of them? They can’t all have been bad.” Right?

  He hung his head. “No they weren’t all bad, but they were all…misguided I guess. I don’t know, baby, and I really don’t want to keep talking about this. I hate that I did what I did. I hate that I lied. I hate all of it, okay?”

  I hadn’t been trying to upset him, I only wanted to understand where everyone was coming from. “How many of them did you, um…”

  “None.”

  “Really? I thought you hooked up with them. I thought that was the whole point. ‘Crue was a fuck boy.’ I think I’ve heard every member of your family say that.” It was like an affectionate nickname.

  “I didn’t, you know, go all the way with any of them.” He swallowed. “We’d fool around and then I’d leave. Nine times out of ten the girls would tell their friends that we’d done a lot more than we actually did.” He rubbed his palms up my thighs. “Crue doesn’t know. He never asked though.”

  “So you’ve never?”

  “Oh, uh, no I have. Just not, um, as my brother.” He shook his head. “I had to draw a line somewhere, you know? I had to be able to sleep at night.” He took a deep breath. “You’re too good for me, Katie. I don’t deserve your time.”

  I should have never brought any of this up. Making him feel bad about himself hadn’t been my intention. But I could see the change in him. I could see the light slowly leaving his eyes. It was almost like he was shutting down right in front of me. I reached out and put my hands on his face, making him look at me.

  “You are amazing and good and kind. You protect the people you love. And you’ve changed my life over the last few days. Can’t you see that? You taught me to let go. You taught me to make my own choices. You made me see myself the way you see me. I’ll never be able to thank you enough, Cash Matthews.”

  I knelt, and then sat down in his lap, his hand automatically going to my lower back to draw me closer. To hold me tighter. “I don’t want you to go.” He was looking up at me, his expression vulnerable. “I don’t want this to end.”

  My heart was pounding in my chest as I shook my head. “I don’t either.” I barely got the last word out before his mouth was on mine. He was kissing me like he never had before. He was rough and demanding; he wasn’t treating me like I was breakable this time. Like he was afraid to hurt me or scare me off.

  I loved it, and I wanted more.

  I reached down and grabbed the hem of my shirt, pulling it off and tossing it down beside us. His hands trailed up my back, being careful as he unhooked my soft lace bralett. His mouth moved to my breast, giving attention to one nipple and then the other, careful to avoid my still tender bandaged tattoo. I let my head fall back as I ground against him seeking release. I knew now how good he could make me feel, and I was greedy for it. Cash taught me how to want, and in this moment, that was my favorite lesson of all.

  “Lie back.” He put his hand on my hips and guided me gently off his lap, pushing me until I was lying down. My knees were bent at the waist, my legs too long to stretch out fully. Cash grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling it off and handing it to me. “Put this under your head.” I balled it up, doing what he said. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. His whole torso was one solid muscle, his every move so confident. When he reached for the button on my shorts, I lifted my butt, helping him slide them off.

  “Do you trust me, baby?”

  “Yes.” And I did. I knew he wouldn’t take things any further than I was ready for. I knew that he’d never push, that he’d never hurt me. I trusted Cash with my body, and more importantly, I trusted him with my heart.

  He put his hand around my ankle, moving one of my feet down to the floor. I’d never felt more exposed in my entire life as I did when he looked at me. His eyes traveling down the length of my body. “I guess we can check seeing you naked off the list.”

  “Stop it.” I covered my chest, trying not to laugh at his dumb joke. “Or I’ll put my clothes back on.”

  He took my hands, laying them back down at my sides. “Well, now if you do that, you won’t get to find out how much fun this next part is.” He hovered over me, kissing my lips, my collarbone, my breasts. Making his way down my stomach, his teeth grazing my hipbones.

  When his mouth closed over my clit, I cried out his name, my hands fisting at my sides. Nothing had ever felt as good as his mouth on me. Nothing. Until he slipped his finger inside my core. I arched my back, instinctively seeking…more. I couldn’t seem to stop moaning, I bit my lip, trying my best to be quiet.

  “Katie.” I opened my eyes when Cash stopped and said my name. He was looking at me, a cocky grin on his face. “There is no one around for miles. I want to hear you. I want to hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.” When I nodded, he fastened his mouth back down on my center.

  And I wasn’t quiet, not even a little bit. It only took another few seconds before I was screaming his name as I came.

  ***

  Cash was walking me home, which meant he was walking me to Halen’s window. “I, uh…are you okay with what happened tonight?”

  “Well that Melanie chick seemed a lot fucking crazy. And—”

  “No. I meant in the truck, after the party.” He was holding my hand but looking down at his feet. It was like he was nervous about my answer.

  “Uh, did you not hear me scream your name?”

  He snorted. “I mean, I just.” He sighed. “I don’t ever want to push you. I don’t ever want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

  “Cash. You didn’t.” I stopped walking, pulling him around so I could see his face. “Please stop worrying about stuff like that. If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll tell you. I promise.”

  He took my face in his hands. “I don’t want to screw this up.”

  I smiled. “Impossible.”

  “I actually drove you out in the middle of nowhere for two reasons. We only really got to one of them.” His eyes searched mine for a few seconds before he spoke again. “I don’t want this, us—I don’t want us to be over when you leave the compound.” He shook his head. “I know you’re going to Europe, but maybe we can keep talking? Maybe I can see you when you get back?”

  I nodded. “Okay.” One simple word came out when what I really meant was hell to the yeah I want to keep talking to you. “I’d like that.” I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips. I’d take what I could get when it came to Cash Matthews. We’d known each other for like five days, it’s not like I should be looking for a declaration of love or anything.


  He let go of my hand to slide the window up once we reached it, helping me through and then climbing in after me. “Are you going to stay?” I looked at the bed, then at him. I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to lay me down on the mattress and touch me some more.

  He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I would love to stay.” He kissed my forehead. “But I need to head home and check on Crue.” He gestured to the wall separating Halen’s room from Avory’s. “His truck is at the house and he isn’t with Avory.”

  “How do you know?” I narrowed my eyes. “X-ray vision? Twin powers?”

  He chuckled. “Her window was closed all the way. It squeaks when it opens so if he’s in there he leaves is slightly ajar.”

  “Ah.” Less cool than if it’d been twin powers. “See you tomorrow?”

  “Of course.” He dipped me back, kissing me, and then lifting me up. I threw my legs around his hips, making him groan. “You’re killing me, baby.”

  “Maybe tomorrow I could touch you for a change.” I grinned when his hands tightened on my ass. “You like that idea, huh?”

  “I like it more than you could ever possibly fathom.” He walked me over to the bed and dumped me on the mattress. “Now. I’m going to get out of here and go check on my twin.” He pointed at me. “Stop saying things that make me want to take off all your clothes instead.”

  “Good night.”

  He winked on his way back to the window. “Night, baby.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Cash

  I marched through the front door. I didn’t care if my parents were awake. I didn’t care if they questioned where I’d been. I headed into my house fully prepared to tell them I’d walked Katie home after a party. Because that was pretty much what had happened, and I refused to lie to them about her. I didn’t want to hide her. I wanted the whole damn world to know that I liked her. That she was well on her way to becoming mine.

  But. No one was awake. So I grabbed an apple from the kitchen and headed down the hall to Crue’s room. The door was slightly open and his bedside lamp was on. “Hey, man, why are you home?” Usually he slept most of the night at Avory’s. “You okay?”

  He was sitting on the end of his bed, his hands in his hair. “Nope. Not fucking okay.”

  “What’s going on?” I stepped into his room, shutting the door quietly behind me.

  He held his phone out. “Melanie wasn’t bluffing. She has proof.”

  I took the phone from his hand and read through the text message. She’d sent pictures an hour ago, image after image of Crue making out with Avory. They were sitting on the tailgate of his truck, and she was straddling his lap and his hands were in her long dark hair. “Where the hell were these taken?”

  “I don’t know, man.” He stood and started pacing his room. “Whatever random field we decided to use that day.”

  “She followed you? Shit.” That was fucking insane. I studied the picture; there was no denying it was Avory. She’d gotten a tattoo on her shoulder using a fake ID over spring break. It was a mandala design, but what no one else knew was that hiding inside it were Crue’s initials. “This is going to sound a little crazy, but what if we tell them it’s me making out with Avory? We can say we had a little fling, but that it’s over now.”

  “I already thought of that, but you can see my tattoo in the last picture.” He had a big skull design on the inside of his right arm. Avory’s name was scrawled in cursive around the skull’s crown.

  I thumbed through the images again. He was right. In the last picture he was taking his shirt off and you could see it. Not in detail, but enough to know that it was him. Too bad they went out and got those stupid tattoos. “Okay. What if we tell them it was a one-time deal, that it was a mistake and you both felt terrible about it afterward.”

  I kept using the word we when it came to this fucked-up situation. I couldn’t help but place myself in hot water with them, even though earlier tonight I’d vowed not to.

  “Right.” He grabbed his phone out of my hands and threw it across the room. Luckily it hit his leather armchair and then bounced harmlessly to the ground. “And then we’ll never be able to be alone again. They’ll watch our every move. They’ll never trust us.”

  “So tell them the fucking truth and deal with the consequences.” I shrugged. “So what if you can’t sneak around banging Avory morning, noon and night? Who cares if you have to have a normal fucking relationship for the next year? Is that really the worst thing?”

  “That’s best-case scenario.” He threw his hand out wide. “What if they separate us completely? What if Uncle Dash spazzes out on me like he did Beau? Avory still has another year of high school left. She isn’t eighteen yet. Dash basically accused Beau of statutory rape.” He pointed to himself. “What do you think he’ll do to me?”

  “Well, since you’ve never knocked her up, maybe leave out the fact that you’ve been fooling around the whole damn time.” Crue wasn’t thinking clearly; he was upset and he was worked up. I needed to calm him down, get him to see that telling the truth was the only way to do this. “Look, I’m just saying you have options here.”

  “We have two options. Two.” He put his hands on his hips. “Either I go out with the bitch, or you do.”

  “Me?” I narrowed my eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Come on, man, it’d be one little date. Hell, the party is tomorrow night. You’d be gone for three hours, max. Avory could keep Katie entertained and I’d cover—”

  “Fuck. You.” I jabbed a finger in his direction. “Fuck you, man.” I shook my head. “How could you even suggest this? Suggest I lie to Katie. That we all lie to Katie. I care about this girl, Crue. I—”

  “You care about her? You’ve known her for less than a week, Cash. I’ve been in love with Avory for two goddamn years.” His held his hands out, keeping them inches apart. “We’re this close to being out of here. We’re this close to being free.”

  I shook my head. “You’ll never be free. As long as you keep lying, you’ll never be free.”

  “You’re one to talk, bro. If my lies come out, eventually yours will too.” I clenched my jaw, trying like hell to remember that he was my brother. That he was scared, and he felt trapped. “It’s common sense. Once people find out I’ve been with Avory this whole time, they’ll know what you’ve been doing.”

  “I did that for you. I did it because you asked me to. Because you’re my best friend.”

  “I doubt it’ll matter in the end.” His smile was cruel, and I could feel what was coming. “How many poor girls did you let call out my name while you were inside them?”

  My heart was pounding, my blood starting to boil. “Don’t do this, man.” I silently pleaded with him to stop.

  “How ‘bout Katie? She scream out Cash? Or did you ask her to call you Crue?”

  I hit him. I hit him as hard as I could, letting the last year and a half worth of misery and frustration fly. He stumbled back, holding his hands up to his bloody nose.

  “You fucking deserved that.” I walked out, closing his door softly behind me.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Cash

  I left my house without even checking to see if my parents were around to see me. I used the front door, and I strode right over to Katie’s window. I opened it, climbing inside. She wasn’t in the bed, but as soon as I turned to check the bathroom, she came out wearing a thin pink robe. It was short, the hem stopping at her mid-thigh. Her hair was damp, braided over her shoulder. She was so damn beautiful, and she didn’t even realize it.

  “Cash? What are you—are you bleeding?” She rushed over to me, holding out my shirt. “What happened?”

  I looked down, only now seeing that there were streaks of red on my white t-shirt. “I, uh, I hit Crue.” I lifted my hand, examining my busted knuckles for the first time. “He deserved it.”

  Katie snorted. “I have no doubt.” She grabbed my clean hand and pulled me toward t
he bathroom. “I saw a first aid kit in here the other day when I was snooping around.” When she bent down to dig through the lower cabinets, my eyes stayed trained on her ass.

  “Are you wearing panties?”

  She stood, placing the small red box next to the sink. “Nope.” She hopped up on the counter. “You talk and I’ll fix your hand.”

  “Okay.” I smiled. I couldn’t help it where she was concerned. “But then we’re going to revisit the no-panties thing.” She grinned and started dabbing disinfectant on my knuckles. “That chick Melanie, she wasn’t bluffing. She has pictures of Crue and Avory making out.”

  Katie looked up, her eyes wide. “What?”

  “Yeah, I guess she followed them one day or whatever.” I winced when she sprayed some kind of stinging mist on my skin. But then she blew on my hand and every rational thought left my brain.

  “Cash?”

  “Huh?” I pulled my gaze away from her lips, meeting her eyes. “Oh, right. I told him he should tell her to fuck off and come clean with the parents. But then he fucking asked me to go out with her in his place. Can you believe that?”

  “Oh, uh, well.” Katie looked down at my hand again, making herself busy with some ointment. “I guess, um, he’s your brother, right? You’ve been loyal to him this long, what’s one more time?”

  “Wait.” I took my hand out of hers. “What? You think I told him yes? You think that after we…after everything I said tonight that I would do that to you? To us?”

  “He’s your brother.” She was still studying the counter.

  “Katie. Look at me.” I put my finger under her chin, lifting. “I will never lie to you. I will never disrespect what we have.” I knew I should stop talking and leave it at that. I could see the understanding in her eyes, the trust. I knew that she believed me. But I wanted her to know it all, I wanted her to know everything I was feeling. “Katie, I’m falling in love with you.”