Sanctuary (RiffRaff Records Book 5) Read online

  “What’s wrong? What happened?” I stayed away from my family because I didn’t want to bring them into my shit. Because I didn’t want them to see me like this. Because I didn’t want to disappoint them. Not because I didn’t love them. I loved them all so, so much. And I missed them constantly.

  “Long story short? Crue cheated on Avory.”

  “What? Are you fucking kidding me? How is she? How is he?” Crue loved Avory. No, he worshipped her. I could never imagine him hurting her in like a trillion years.

  “Avory is staying with Landry and Brody. They told Aunt Lex that they needed the extra help with Wyatt because they’re both so busy.”

  It was us against the world, always. And if Avory hiding out with her older cousin would help her cope, then Landry would lie to Aunt Lex and Uncle Dash until she was blue in the face.

  “What about Crue? He’s got to be feeling so fucking shitty. Did Cash kick his ass?” Cash was his twin’s moral compass, had been from the second they’d exited the womb. And Cash loved Avory like a sister. I was sure he was beyond pissed at Crue for hurting her.

  “Crue is laying low. No one has really seen him since it all came out. At brunch. With the ’rents.”

  Beau put some dramatic pauses in the last part, making me gasp. “Shut the hell up.”

  “Yeah. Did you not see the pictures? The chick he cheated with leaked them to the press. One of the suits sent them to Uncle Smith while we were having family time at the pool house.” He sighed. “Avory found out in front of everyone, and held it together like a champ.”

  “Wow. That’s so terrible.” I closed my eyes, feeling pain in my chest for what my cousins were going through.

  “And our little Cash fell in love with Katie Cadence, aka Mason Maxwell’s daughter. He is in Europe with her right now, touring with her family.”

  “What? Damn. I need to call more often.” Nicky snorted beside me and I poked him in the ribs.

  “Yeah, Evs, you really do. Or, come home every once in a while? We haven’t seen you since Christmas.” Beau sounded sad, which made me sad.

  “I know. I will.” We both knew that I was lying. Beau knew better than anyone that sometimes, coming home was harder than staying away. Our reasons weren’t all that different either. He’d stayed away because he thought it was the best thing for Halen, the love of his life and the girl he’d crushed. I did it because I knew it was the best thing for my parents. Better they love the lie than be disappointed in the truth.

  “Call them, okay? Maybe since you aren’t home in the middle of everything they’ll tell you more.”

  I nodded to myself since he couldn’t see me. “I will. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Evs.”

  I hung up and sat my cell on the nightstand. I had texts waiting to be read, but I didn’t have the strength. Or give a damn. I hated that I was missing so much back at the compound. I talked to my parents and my baby sister a few times a week. Neither one of them mentioned anything happening with Cash and Crue. But that wasn’t surprising. Emmie was too young and my parents didn’t really ever know what was going on.

  When we’d first met, I’d told Nicky about the mentality of my cousins, and how we banded together and kept each other’s secrets. And two years later, not much had changed. The ’rents knew about Beau and Halen, their whole story and that they’d been in love as long as any of us could remember. But they only knew because everything was good now; they’d been kept in the dark the whole time things had been hard—on everyone.

  Our parents knew about Landry and Brody, how they met and how she hadn’t been sure at first who Wyatt’s father was. But again, they found out after the fact, after things were well on their way to perfect.

  We shared the bad, only after things were good. We didn’t involve them in our struggles, in our hard times. My parents would be devastated if they knew what my life in Dallas was really like.

  And I’d move heaven and earth to make sure they never had to go through that.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Nick

  When I’d caught Evie staring at my chest, I’d had to discreetly adjust my dick. I wanted to help; I meant that completely. But she was Evie James, and no matter how much she’d changed, she was still hot as hell. I thought seeing her in my oversized t-shirt was sexy? Well the girl slept in outfits that belonged on a lingerie mannequin. And it’s not as if I was hitting on her, or flirting. I’d caught her blatantly staring at me. The fact that she’d been so caught up in my body that she didn’t hear her phone ringing was a bit of an ego boost. It was also a hella turn-on. I was fucking human, after all.

  When she ended her call she was quiet, so I paused the show I hadn’t really been watching. “Everything okay?” Something about that phone conversation had shocked her. And I’d heard genuine emotion in her voice, concern for someone else. Over the past few days I’d seen anger, annoyance, defeat, exhaustion, gratitude, and hints of lust. But never concern.

  She waved her manicured hand in the air. “Oh, yeah. More Devil’s Spawn drama.”

  “Devil’s Spawn?” I laughed lightly. “I thought your family was in the music industry, not a motorcycle club.”

  She giggled and the sound made my hard-on grow. I grabbed a spare pillow and put it over my lap. “A group name, encompassing my cousins and me. There are ten of us.”

  “I remember.” She’d spoken a little about her family when we’d met for the first time. And from being around some of her uncles at the Revival Ink in Austin, I knew there were a lot of kids in that family. I was looking for an unsexy distraction, because my cock had to fucking deflate. Banging was not on the table. Evie needed my help, not my tongue down her throat. “Tell me more about them.”

  She looked at me, a real smile on her face. “Not much to tell.” She didn’t want to talk about them, but it was clear that she loved her family very much. I could count on one hand the number of real smiles I’d seen from her since we had reconnected.

  I tried again, needing to know more about her life. There was more to Evie than fake friends and prescription drug addictions. “You told whoever you were talking to about me, about the Adderall.”

  She sank down farther under the covers, turning to face me. She was more relaxed than I’d seen her, maybe ever. “Beau, he’s my Uncle Jacks’s son. That was who called.” She moved one shoulder, making her tank-top strap slide down her arm. “He and I are closer these days than I am with anyone else, I guess. He knows a little about my life here in Dallas.”

  Her cousin, that she was close with, knew about her pill problem? How could he stand by and let her slowly kill herself?

  “So why isn’t he up here, helping you get better?” If any one of my cousins had problems like Evie did, I’d be glued to their side. I’d do everything in my power to support them.

  “I said he knows a little. He doesn’t know everything, Nicky.” I hated how much I liked it when she said my name like that. Soft and sweet. “Plus, life at the compound can be all-consuming. He has enough to deal with down there; he doesn’t need to be worrying about me too.”

  I snorted out an amused laugh. “You sound like you guys don’t have parents. He’s not the father to nine kids, is he?”

  “No.” She laid her cheek on the back of her hand. “We all have parents. I told you before, we keep the parents out of our messes. We tend to like to fix problems ourselves.”

  “I grew up with a single mom who worked her ass off to make ends meet, and she was still on top of everything I did.” I couldn’t get a C in school without my mom knowing and wanting to talk about it. It was hard to believe that Evie had developed a pill addiction, and completely changed everything about herself without her parents catching on.

  “It’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it, I guess.”

  I didn’t want to push her to discuss anything that would make her upset. I’d read about the mood swing side effects of stopping the Adderall. I knew that pretty much anything had the potential
to set her off at this point.

  “You’re different when you talk to your family.” I turned on my side too, mirroring her position. Our faces were close. If I was thinking about kissing her, which I wasn’t, I’d only have to lean in a few inches. I could smell the orange scent of her hair.

  She wrinkled her forehead. “Different how?”

  I let my eyes search hers. “Softer? More real, I guess. You remind me of the Evie I used to know.”

  Her small smile turned a little sad. “Did you ever really know me though?”

  I put my hand on the back of her head, making sure she was paying attention. “I know you, Evie. I’ve been inside you. I remember who you were before you let this world change you, harden you. I know you like to read, I know you get homesick, and you get your feelings hurt. I know you love dogs and you bite your bottom lip when you’re unsure of something. I. Know. You.”

  She closed her eyes, almost like she was trying to keep my words out. “It was one night, Nicky.”

  I could have let her think what she wanted, that I’d never known her at all. I could have changed the subject and brought back her lighter mood. I could have done a lot of things. But instead, I went somewhere I shouldn’t have gone.

  “It was everything. And we both damn well know it.”

  I pulled her toward me, kissing her against all better judgment. Her lips were soft against mine, her mouth opening without hesitation. All rational thought left my brain when one of her sexy little whimpers slipped free. I had one hand on her jaw and tangled the other in her dark locks. She rolled onto her back, her legs wrapping around my waist as I moved to hover over her. Before I could stop myself, I ground against her center, making her gasp in pleasure. I traveled lower, taking her nipple between my teeth through her thin shirt. Her hands slipped between us, her palm finding my rigid cock.

  “More. Nicky, I need—”

  Her words broke the spell that had been put on my body. I need. “Fuck, Evie, I’m sorry.” I knew exactly what she needed, and it wasn’t me mauling her when I was basically holding her here against her will to help her detox. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “What?” She shook her head, confusion clear on her face. “Why did you stop? What’s wrong?”

  I sat back, pulling her with me. “The last thing we need to do right now is have sex.” I chuckled at how stupid I’d almost been. “The absolute last fucking thing.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes trained in her lap. “I know I’m not the same girl I was when we first met. I don’t look the same.”

  “You’re still beautiful, Evie.” I couldn’t let her think that I stopping things was because I didn’t want her.

  “I don’t always act the same. I’m a mess, believe me, I get it.”

  “You’re not the same girl from two years ago.” I put my finger under her chin, making her look at me. “But you know what, I’m not the same guy either. People change, Evie. It so happens that some of your changes could end up killing you.” I sent her a really sad smile. “I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, little bird.”

  “I don’t deserve your help.”

  I took her face in my hands, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “Yes, you do.” I lay down, tucking her against my body and trying to keep my dick from poking her ass.

  Everyone deserved to have someone looking out for them. I’d looked out for her the first night we’d spent together. I’d done everything I could to make sure she’d felt safe and cared for. And I’d keep doing it, as long as she’d let me.

  Within in a few minutes, she was fast asleep. I didn’t know how the rest of the night was going to go. I didn’t know which Evie I was going to get from one moment to the next. But for now, she was content and calm in my arms.

  And I was more than happy to watch over her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Nick

  “Evie?” I turned on the lamp beside my bed, my hand automatically going to her side of the mattress even though I could plainly see that I was alone. Had she left me again? Did she call the car service and bail? I got up, my heart pounding out of fear. Where would she go? Maybe her friend’s studio, maybe running to whoever the hell Collin was? “Evie?”

  “Yeah?” She popped her head out of my open fridge, her eyes wide but her brow wrinkled.

  I nearly collapsed with relief at the sight of her. Would I have gone after her? Would I have simply washed my hands of the whole deal and called her parents? I had absolutely no idea. “What are you doing? Are you hungry?”

  She held up a carton of yogurt. “This was your last one, sorry.” She shoved a spoonful in her mouth and then tossed the empty container in the trash. “I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t seem to get comfortable.” She breezed past me, heading toward the living room. “Not that your bed isn’t comfortable, because it totally is.”

  “You okay?” I watched, eyebrows raised in question while she paced the length of the loft. “You seem a little—”

  “Manic? Crazy? About to blow?” She let out a creepy laugh. “Yeah, I know.” She paused to take a breath. “I woke up feeling super cranky and on edge. So I came in here to watch some TV. You have two TVs like six feet from each other, you realize that, right?” I opened my mouth to answer her, but she kept on talking. “Then Ollie came in and we started to play ball.” She pointed across the room, alerting me to the broken potted plant in the corner. “That happened, so we decided we shouldn’t play ball in the house, and then I got—”

  “Evie.” I padded across the space, the stained concrete cool on my bare feet. “You want to get out of here for a bit?”

  She glanced behind me to the large French doors leading to my small terrace. “It’s the middle of the night, but you know what I could really use? Something to help me sleep.” She was wringing her hands together, shifting from one foot to the other. “I don’t need the whole bottle, but maybe you could give me one? Just one, you know, to help me feel like I can be still.”

  “No pills, little bird.” I picked up one of my discarded t-shirts on the couch, tossing it to her. “Put this on, let’s go.” I needed to help her come down a different way.

  ***

  “So a few days ago I had to beg you to tattoo me, and now you’re offering to do it for free?” Evie was standing in my shop, her hands on her hips and my shirt hanging to her knees. “Really?”

  We walked to my shop from my house. It was only a couple of blocks, but the activity and the night air had seemed to help calm her a little.

  I poked her in the ribs as I walked past and flipped on the bright light in my workspace. “You were spiraling again.”

  “I was not.” She gasped, like it was an outrageous accusation.

  “You were pacing, eating everything in my fridge and begging for pills not ten minutes ago.” I cocked my head to the side. “Sounds like spiraling to me, little bird. Plus, you were breaking more of my shit.”

  “The pot was an accident, and partly Ollie’s fault.”

  “Do you throw every ball like a line drive? Or do you simply like to destroy my apartment?” I’d been almost impressed at the size of the dent she’d put in my bedroom wall yesterday. The girl had an arm on her.

  “Baseball. All Luke’s boys play baseball.” She sent me a sassy smile over her shoulder, my t-shirt hanging off, exposing her perfect tanned flesh. And giving me an amazing idea. “I had excellent coaches.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, remind me to thank them.”

  Evie moved her attention to the framed custom art on the walls. They were all hand-drawn images of the more intricate tattoos I’d done for clients. “These are really good, Nicky.”

  “Thank you. Now take off your shirt.”

  She whirled around to face me. “Now who’s having the mood swings?”

  “Still you.” I patted the leather table. “And I’m not trying to get you naked so we can fuck. I’m going to put a mandala on your shoulder.” Her lips had parted when I’d said fuck,
like she’d let out a sexy gasp that had been too quiet for me to hear. I didn’t need Evie thinking about sex, because I didn’t need to be thinking about sex.

  “Why?”

  My gaze automatically went to the tattoo on her thigh. “You like the sting of the needle piercing your skin, it’s a release for you.” I turned back to my desk, getting all my supplies ready. “It’ll help calm your nervous energy. You’ll be able to sleep better afterward.” Evie had slept through the first tattoo I’d given her, and she’d been almost pliable during her second. “And mandala tattoos represent balance. I figured that was something you could use a little more of these days.”

  She sighed, “You have no idea.” After that she pulled my shirt off and tossed it onto the chair in the corner. “Why my shoulder?” Next she stripped off her tank top, no hesitation, leaving her standing in front on me completely topless. Maybe I didn’t think this all the way through, because my eyes went straight to her naked breasts. Memories of having my hands on her flesh assaulted my brain. “Nicky?”

  “Huh?” I tore my gaze back to her face, chuckling self-deprecatingly at her amused smile. She’d caught me. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t very professional of me, was it?” I knew the answer to my own damn question. Hell to the no. Pull yourself together, man.

  It wasn’t like it was the first time I’d seen a naked body. It wasn’t even the first time I’d seen Evie’s naked body. But. I was horny, really fucking horny. And the naked body currently in my presence? Yeah, I wanted that naked body underneath me.

  Evie got herself a blanket from one of my top cabinets, something I should have done before I even instructed her to strip. “It’s cool. You caught me staring earlier tonight. Fair is fair.” No it wasn’t, not by a long shot. She needed my help, not my fucking hard-on. “Why my shoulder?”

  “Oh, uh, you’ll see.” The shoulder was the perfect place for the mandala design, and I was currently obsessed with Evie’s shoulder. It kept coming out of her too-big clothes to taunt me.